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Creating a common language base for relationships

Dominator Model

We experience the Dominator Model as a social, cultural, and relational system based on hierarchy, control, and coercion, where power is concentrated in the hands of a few and maintained through fear, force, and rigid social structures.

This model was developed by cultural historian and systems thinker Riane Eisler, who identified it as a framework through which societies, institutions, and relationships have historically been structured around dominance and submission rather than mutual respect and cooperation.

The Dominator Model operates through rigid binaries: superior-inferior, strong-weak, authority-obedience. It thrives on competition, scarcity, and the normalization of violence—whether physical, psychological, or systemic—as a means of maintaining order.

Eisler’s work highlights how this framework has been deeply embedded in political, economic, and gender-based hierarchies, shaping the ways in which power is wielded and relationships are conditioned.

Relationally, the Dominator Model distorts intimacy and belonging, replacing authentic connection with power struggles, dependency, or coercion. It conditions us to either seek control or submit to it, eroding trust and reinforcing the illusion of separation. It perpetuates cycles of harm, where power is wielded as something to take rather than something to share.

In contrast, Eisler proposes the Partnership Model, an alternative paradigm based on collaboration, equity, and care. While the Dominator Model suppresses the full expression of life’s interdependent nature, the Partnership Model reclaims power as a relational force that fosters co-creation, mutual empowerment, and shared responsibility. Moving beyond the Dominator Model requires dismantling systems of control and reorienting relationships and societies toward reciprocity, trust, and relational integrity.

Within We Space

In the context of We Space (our relationship space), self-esteem is experienced as an integral aspect of how we show up and engage with others in a shared, co-created field. Within this space, our self-esteem influences how we contribute to the collective experience, affecting our ability to be authentic, vulnerable, and fully present. Healthy self-esteem in We Space allows us to participate with confidence and openness, trusting in our value while honoring the contributions of others.

As we engage in We Space, our self-esteem is both affirmed and shaped by the interactions, feedback, and support we receive from others. This dynamic interplay helps us to see ourselves more clearly, refine our self-perception, and deepen our sense of interconnectedness. By fostering a healthy balance between self-esteem and collective awareness, we create a We Space where all individuals feel valued, respected, and empowered to contribute meaningfully to the shared experience.

Practice: Here’s a practice to help understand self-esteem in We Space. Practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice.

Related Concepts:
Commitment | Balance | Attunement

Nuances from the greater We Space

  • As we introduce these concepts and definitions, we strive for simplicity in service of practical usefulness. And, we are aware that no verbal definition can ever encompass the complexity and expansiveness of subjective experience.

    And so, we invite you, our co-creators, to join us in exploring and expanding these terms, here in the comments.